the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?
one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance:
so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.
i really love @dril.
it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”
This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.
Heyo I’m in the process of applying for jobs right now but in the meantime I do need money so I’m opening up commissions officially now with a fancy post and stuff
- these prices only apply to single characters. if you want multiple characters please ask me about prices
- the examples aren’t really reflective of all of my style variations. it’s worth checking both my drawing and doodle tags beforehand so you can suggest one of my other drawings to reference the style of
- i’ll draw nudity and some intimate situations but it really depends on what it is
- i can’t draw robots believe me i’ve tried
- i draw animals and monsters more than humans so sorry most of these examples are humans
- if the commission is more than $30 i require half up front
- paypal only
- contact me here or at firstname.lastname@example.org
- i can draw your characters from descriptions if you have no ref
- "full pieces" start at $20 but may rise drastically depending on what combination of things you want. For instance, a piece that’s relatively simple with a simple background will be much cheaper than a realistic piece with complicated character designs and a background
my drawing process is a little on the long side because I have a habit of sending a ton of wips to you and waiting for confirmation before I continue because I do not like to get things wrong or have commissioners take something they aren’t satisfied with because they feel bad that it was already finished. because of this there is almost no way I can get a commission done the same day its requested, so try not to commission me if you have a tight deadline
2/4 spots taken
hi so i got like 5 million things coming up like birthdays and trips and family business and turns out i need some CA$H MONEY or something
so im doing $5 sketch commissions and $10 flats! easy peasy. my paypal is email@example.com and you can drop me a message on this tumblr or at my email
im cool with drawing a lot of things i enjoy a lot of mmos so if you have a toon you want drawn i can probably do that just dont ask me to draw sex or robots because im bad at both of those things. thanks
gramma’s dusty attic
get out sldkfj
Western Zodiac: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces
Celtic Zodiac [x]: Birch (the Achiever), Rowan (the Thinker), Ash (the Enchanter), Alder (the Trailblazer), Willow (the Observer), Hawthorne (the Illusionist), Oak (the Stabilizer), Holly (the Ruler), Hazel (the Knower), Vine (the Equalizer), Ivy (the Survivor), Reed (the Inquisitor), Elder (the Seeker)
Myers-Briggs [x]: ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ, INTJ, ISTP, ISFP, INFP, INTP, ESTP, ESFP, ENFP, ENFJ, ESFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ, ENFJ, ENTJ, ENTP
The Four Temperaments [x]: Melancholic, Phlegmatic, Choleric, Sanguine
Enneagram [x]: Type 1, Type 2, Type 3, Type 4, Type 5, Type 6, Type 7, Type 8, Type 9
Soul type [x]: Sage, Server, Scholar, King, Artisan, Priest, Warrior
Hogwarts House [x]: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin
Aura Colours [x]: Red, Orange, Magenta, Yellow, Abstract Tan, Environmental Tan, Logical Tan, Sensitive Tan, Green, Crystal, Blue, Violet, Lavender, Indigo, Red Overlay.